Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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