I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
