If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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