i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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