God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
