im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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