i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize