walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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