people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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