Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
