Umm I'm too high to move.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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