so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
That accounts for only three of the penises
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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