It's like God shit irony all over that family
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
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he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
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Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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