Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
