By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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