Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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