I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
