ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
