Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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