Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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