i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
