can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
