She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Congratulations! We have a period
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
