There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
