We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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