Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
