haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
How external is "for external use only"?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
