Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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