You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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