Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
