As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Someone came in the potted fern
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
be right there i have to get my cape
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
