Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
