hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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