are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
