Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
