I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
