Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
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