I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
it wasn't lemon gatorade
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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