The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
