During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
