jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
‎"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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