After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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