so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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