Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
