i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
