Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
