Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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