Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
