last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
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We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
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the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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