3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
