Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
