I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
