Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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