i already hear my dad disowning me
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I didn't notice because vodka
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
