No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
