2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
