not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
