my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Someone shattered a urinal.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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