The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
