my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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