I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
A+ Viking dick
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
