can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
