I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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