And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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