At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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