i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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